Too lazy to open friggin slow IE that always crashes just to update my wishlist at the side. I think my CD list is going to start growing...
Off the top of my head. I'm on semi-emo mode so I really want The Script's album.
Yeah. Late, I know. If OneRepublic weren't at the MAA (or SJ for that matter *cough*) then maybe I would have paid more attention to The Script then. I knew I liked them enough then and would grow to like them but still... *shrug
Slow, slow I know. Have yet to properly play the entire playlist/album/folders Sherry passed to me waaaaay back.
Other albums I would want. Well, it would be nice if we could actually dig up all our old 90's pop albums on CDs haha!
But aside from that, I want Adam Lambert's album and David Archuleta's upcoming one. I don't think I want any other album save JJ Lin's latest (plus everything else backlogged on CD la hor). Most songs are just... random for me at the mo. Sigh.
Maybe it's about time I start looking at legal downloads eh. -___-
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Am slightly hurt but it's ok.
For Xue, and also for Mish especially. For Squirrel, just because.
************************************************
Original by Casting Crowns
Sung by SIwon at SS2
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.
Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.
Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am yours..
I am yours..
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CNBlue is pretty darn good.
I miss FT. Wth.
How can it actually feel wrong and somehow guilty to be missing it/you?
AM IN LOVE WITH 2AM. Seulong!
Hate. Stomach cramps.
Don't do arguments well.
Need focus.
Dangle, dangle carrot. Must resist darn carrot argh! And stray thoughts.
Why are we so damn weird?
Utter fail! FAILZ!!
When you look back, you know there were signs of trouble and "normalcy" flying out the window but you chose to ignore. Case in point: [from blog comment] "you know you've lost your mind when you count money in ten thousands, not hundreds and think they're nothing if they're not millions."
The value of money, and the value of something more, is best learnt through self-experience.
Need. to. get. butt. in. gear. -_-
.....FAIL!!
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I feel like dying and crawling into a hole and hope life rights itself for me!!
Here's an excerpt.
x says:
*sighs
*how abt, XUE IS FUCKING DESPERATE TO JST BOOK THE TICKETS AND GO IN MARCH?
*or maybe HOW MUCH LONGER U WANNA DELAY AND BE BLUR???
:: Felicia :: says:
*ku nak pengsan d
*i try to unravel it for squirrel.....
x says:
*hahahahhahha
*poor u
*suddenly become middle man pula
*confirm, later u will go screech to cpy
*then she even more confused
*suddenly she become 4th party
*and all this while she dunno anything
*ahahhahaha
*such is our wonderful friendship
*-_-"
Oh yes. Called the cpy I did, screeched I did. The only thing left is fainting...
This is why it's called BFF no? Yes? Sigh!
I foresee Langkawi to be a major headache. Shall not begin until it needs to start.... Ahem. Reminder to those involved who actually reads this: If you do the same thing for Langkawi and decide to not reply, go MIA, go ding-a-dong and dangle between yes & no, I will pretend it doesn't exist and go (anywhere) on my own!
There. Life sooooo not in order! I am about this close to dying from stomach cramps! Sunday was a Murphy's Law day. The mixer went poof in smoke (literally), and everything else just went in a total disarray. Sigh! My life feels like it's revolving around baking, cleaning, not dying.
Am broke and emptying out savings but I STILL managed to shop for unplanned CNY clothes!! Arrrghhh what is this! Clamp down on all expenditures d! T____T Forgot to take pics, so shall take pics of new dresses later.
Job hunting!....Needs a whole lot more focus.
Right now, I just want to crawl into bed, cramps be gone, and listen to 2AM on repeat.
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Gah! I feel like I've sacrificed more for SJ than my own DB this time... but oh well. *cough* I haven't actually done anything substantial for SJ so it's alright... xD Yah Eunhae! You better give super good fanservice no???? And the brother-in-law better give the sister super good photos, fanservice, fancams, whatever whatever.......
The lowdown, in points. xD
- Hundreds of people. Must be a thousand tickets (or more) sold. ONE laptop. ONE printer with counter initially, then two counters...and THEN trickled to a separate table for different zone.... *swt
- Met nice people, made new friend(s). Well, sort of. =) Dropped the moping by the 3rd hour or so...
- Met Nauwar and Aunty Yong, both people I RARELY get to meet. Was a good catch up, albeit short. ^^ And Eeling is too cute with her short hair. =P
- Rolled eyes once.
- Nearly had a omg I'm going to DAI moment when I couldn't see the end of the line and imagined my life was never going to end in this gawd forsaken liiiinnneeeeee......@-@ I think I was going to literally hyperventilate...
- Discovered I must still look like a student, but sadly I felt this weird senior moment when talking to a fellow (freshie) student from ex-college and wanted to go errrr you do realize I AM much older than you right...*thinks she's going to scare small kids*
- I can still be informative and nice to strangers aka random fans.
- I can actually do minor spazz-talk with again, random fans!
- I can actually still wish to walk the other direction when met with people I least want to see... Or at least, among the people I least want to see.
- Random fans who do not know me, do not look at me weirdly, who are a little more normal are actually bearable.
- Those not are really wth.
- Those who shriek when seeing an OLD MV come on TV makes me wonder if I was ever that young and naive.....yep. Probably was.
- Oh no.
- Only at a Kpop concert, ticket booth, etc. will you ever come across something like this....
Heard at the counter: But you DON'T understand!! I MUST stand that side because during the solo performance, it's from there you can seeee...*insert whoever's name she wanted to mention*
Oh yeah. I am in the Kpop world alright. *puts on helmet*
I had another post in mind, I THINK I did but then SuJu took over!!!
Gyaaaaaaaahhhhh my full fan mode has been switched on! I CAN WATCH THEM AS A A PROPER FAN THIS TIME! How awesome is that??
VERY!!! SINCE I CAN SCREAM TO MY HEART'S CONTENT! xDDD
Ahem. That is of course if I don't revert back to "normal" mode by then... or get sidetracked by people I recognize.... or see people-I-don't-really-want-to-see...
BUT WHO CARES RIGHT??? xDD I've a feeling I'll be fine anyway.
Looking at the way things are going, I can only say.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOT JOB HUNTING WAY MORE SERIOUSLY?? But I've never been happier.. in such a long, LONG time. I don't mean today, or SuJu, but about now, lately, how I've been. It is just so good to know you can feel truly happy again from the inside and be that much lighter. =)
ANYWAY! SUJU!!!!! xDDD
I may be dragged to be "photographer" at a charity fashion show this Friday though....... T_T
Totally cannot remember what the rest of the post was about...... Shall go update lists on the sidebar!
P.S. Oh yeah, someone's being really annoying. Again. Or maybe I'm tetchy coz I don't really wanna be sociable LOL!!
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Sometimes delving too far into the what ifs and the choices not chosen, makes regret easy to seep in.
Just tinges of it and feeling slightly rueful, maybe nostalgic, of the things you could have. The things you left aside and thought could not be yours. The things you left without a second thought and think now maybe, if things were different...
But time only passes once. What is regret if it only makes you think of the past and not of the now and future. =)
I think I, we, will forever have tinges of regret of roads not taken and wonder where it would have led. Of things you wanted, or could have held in your hands.
I will learn to keep loving who I am today, and to look forward. Always strive now, if I didn't back then, for one thing after another I do/still want and need.
P.S. I (sometimes) hate how looking around makes you think twice like this... -__-
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I had a great night. ^^ It feels better, like everything's going to be ok. It's been awhile since it's been easy to smile and laugh again. =) The new year is still going strong. After tonight, I feel like doing that proper 10 resolutions/goals thingy. It is, after all a new decade. Plus Xue must've asked me at least two, three times what my resolutions are. >< And the fact that I don't usually do lists of resolutions..
Don't wanna do a too vague one, so I'll try to do a Top 10 list that seems more concrete.
1. Get a stable job.
2. Be happy, live my life.
3. Put aside that home/life/vacation "trust fund".
4. Go on (at least one) vacation for self. Family one does not count. BFF and OF does.
5. Be a better friend. ie Talk to Jia Lin, be around for others more, catch up even more, be there for Xue despite all the "drama".
6. Solve/settle this pending famili thing. =)
7. Find a way with dad.
8. Be closer to God.
9. Be healthier. ie exercise, less junk.
10. Make conscious effort to stop cursing. (yes I can tell I'm smacking everything in a line ><)
Once upon a time, even "damn" and "idiot" were shocking to me.....
Again, like I've said before. It feels freer this time. Easier. I feel like I can finally smile again. Really smile. I feel happy/happier inside once more. Lighter. I've been waiting, searching for this peace and happiness to come again. I feel more like myself, in a changed/grown way. It feels good, and I want to start living my life again, whichever way it is.
It has been hard to say this, but Kpop and everything that came with it made my world bigger yet smaller at the same time. I know I'm not the only one who can relate to this. Doors opened yet many became narrow. It became my life, yet my glass cage. I thought often about when it'll end, yet unwilling to let go. Things may have been a self-fulfilling prophecy, but they are what they are. Have I gained from this? Do I regret anything? I think you and I both know the answers to these.
It's a yes and a no. =)
Can I keep what I've gained from it, especially the family, close to heart and a part of my life? Can I remember what dreams were and what was good? I hope so. No, I think I can. =) We, I'm getting there. I need to keep finding answers for myself only I know, recognize.
If 2008 was dark, then 2009 was the journey out of it. I hope 2010 would be the breath, the new air I've been looking for.
All that, and without letting go of what's important from the past.
<3 Life has started becoming more "real", tangible. Yet I think this time, I really do believe I can find (now, one day) that balance between the concrete reality of commitments and tangible things and the less tangible side of life.
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Hehe has been good so far. ^^ Slowly recharging ie meaning I can stay awake for longer hours (but now feeling sleepy again). Have just done up the final load of laundry, still have minor side batch plus last batch of ironing to do later today. =) Have gone out with family for movie and relaxation, met up with bffs, caught up, still doing another round of catching up and jia you! job hunt begins~
Met up with bffs (plus one boyfriend ^^) yesterday; had a general good round of catching up, laughs and me loves sharing prezzies with everyone~ <3 Glad you guys like what I got... And I'm a bit late again, but need to thank Jia Lin again for helping me out!! >< We have lots to catch up still and plenty to plan no? =) Shall get round to revamping that list for 2010 ^^
Tomorrow would be another long-awaited catch up! Can't wait~ Wed shall be with Poh and bffs before she disappears!
It feels like we've all moved to yet another new chapter in life and somehow like we've all changed, but for the better. Albeit of course, learning a lot of things the hard way and having to fall (a lot, and sometimes rock bottom) along the way. =) But I like where we are now, and how we're looking ahead. With some plans more firmly etched in minds/list of things to do before it's too late, even though we're all growing up and the list of priorities and commitments starts to form. When I look around and look at us, I feel like we've come a long way. =)
It's our year, and even more so for most of us, being the Year of the Tiger. ^^ A decade into the new millennium and it's our year. I feel like we should not be wasting any moment. Full steam ahead and good luck to all of us! I hope all our plans do materialize, and all our wish lists gets fulfilled.
Here is, again, to the best of friends who've weathered through everything together~
That includes the people from my new family too~ You guys are <3-ed too.
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This deserves a post by itself! =D
So HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone, to those I've not yet wished or have yet to see FB lol! The year feels good so far, am adamant on making it good. =)
So this time I have a list of resolutions/goals, looks like my side box shall be updated soon. What I need to do once I've settled all laundry, packed all clothes and things into their respective places, and gotten settled back into life at home, would be to look forward and see where I'm falling behind and what I want to aim for.
The most important thing so far that has crossed my mind as the year ended and a new one began, was how much it feels like a new life once again. The thing that seems to be underlined is the all too familiar reminder that I should learn to ENJOY myself, live my own life, and stop worrying/living for others instead. See, sometimes it gets confusing because I'm happy when others are. I just don't know how to not neglect myself when it really comes down to it. ><
Few things at the top of my head of goals would be:
1. Get a stable job. =) Berry important.
2. Go for another family holiday this year. A proper vacation this time ><.
3. Own personal trip/vacation time. Possibly one with friends/BFFs instead?
4. Financial budgeting. *cough* Need to forecast (wah..hahah) and plan ahead for further ahead goals and expected time savings. Ahem.. Zis is like a whole other budgeting plan in itself. >< I feel like I'm running a country or my entire life's path here....wth!me.
5. Enjoy myself, live my own life. =) (when reading this in contrast with no.4..........)
The only blot so far has been this naggy/uncomfortable feeling of being part of something yet feeling apart. Hmmm.. A name is more than a name, and the irony is that I'm using the same name as reference. =) I guess it's one of those minor irky things that you get well...irky about even though you know it's irrational. Lol~
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Don't buy Vista Security
