Walking down this road...
I finally cried teared taking these out again.
There is a part in a song that just almost paints the moment now.
It's night, I'm tired waiting for software to DL so I can start/finish the work I owe, so maybe that's why I'm grey-er than I should be.
But then again, it's never really gone.
Can I lay this all on You? Lay them in Your hands and let You take it all away.
I've prayed before, and tried before, but You know very well I didn't lay them all down to You.
Taking these out.. Digging them out..
I guess if I forced the view a certain way, like a mirror, then I'll only see the surface and the calmness and everything's normal and alright.
I'm tired too.
I live in my head.
Sometimes I want to be someone else.
It's just something to work through. So many things...
If only thoughts and memories could really be put into a Pensieve.
Walking down this road...
Here's why.
Lack of sleep = sleepy = cranky + work not done = extra cranky + si orang tak paham the meaning of over-pestering means one very annoyed flea (don't ppl get that I'm usually anti-social & don't do random meet-ups T_T) = ONE VERY ANNOYED FLEA + discovered someone went and hit her glasses over = ONE VERY PISSED FLEA who wants to roar but is too tired so she mentally kicks over ten tables or so in her head.
The end.
-____________________-!!!!!!!!!!!
*********
Good thing dinner was great and company better anyway. And tomorrow am going to see furry Squirrel.
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Everytime I start to miss you, I push these thoughts away to a corner.
I think to forget you, but a voice tells me memories don't wash away that easily.
A part of me says I don't want to either; I just don't want it to hurt.
Everytime I remember you, I tear a little thinking of the heartache.
Whenever memories wash uncalled for to my mind,
I think...
It's ok right? If I just boxed them up nicely now, on the shelf.
One day I'll let them shine properly.
Right now, sleeping on the table with the air-conditioning on at full, listening to Falling Slowly from the OST of Once...
I see myself somewhere far away, under the sun, on top of a hill, with a clear blue sky above and the sea below. Not too hot, just right, and it feels like floating on air.
- Already Gone ~ Kelly Clarkson
Can I sleep here tonight?
Wrapped in lullaby and all things warm.
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Can I lay here for awhile,
By Your side,
Stay awhile
and dream a bit more.
Can I stand at the top,
Look down upon the city,
And wish it would forever stay
Just like this.
Because I've been so tired,
Each day like a grain of sand
Falling through the hourglass.
I seek the peace I may not have had before.
The Home I call mine.
The place where a heart doesn't have to bleed.
Where sleep is white and silence comforting.
She's like air yet tangible.
Reachable but untouchable.
Beautiful yet distorted
and you're never sure you see her.
I wish for the stars,
The moon, the sun, the sky.
I wish for many things...
But all I want is the veil to fall.
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The one thing I hate the most is the uneasy, unsettling feeling that sets in the pit of your stomach and you can't tell what's stressing you.
It's at times like these, alone, or rather it's feeling lonely, that it gnaws at you and it's irritating to feel disconnected.
You want someone to hold close and be comforted, still your heart and sleep without dreams that haunt.
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Shopping done!! xD It's been a good day! Although I busted my budget *cough*
Finally got myself a luggage bag, mum got family luggage too. Got nice furry, blue gloves on a whim since they were on sale (RM10 only!) aannnnddd...highlight of the day is my trenchcoat/jacket!! xD <333 it!!!
Of course, in the end with much noise and "discussion", Mag got the same one too haha~
Aannnddd... The end. ^^ Shall maybe share photos later on. Need to do up accounts, and see what else I'm missing. Spare batteries and other smaller stuffs....
On a side note, BFF has finally msg-ed. And I need to get down to the things I promised I would do. =)
Good day, good day, although I'm slightly worrying at the back of my head but oh well....
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Hating this feeling I have. Don't deal very well with any kind of loss. It's true when you care enough, your pain becomes my pain. Confused; not a very good place to be.
Feeling so weary again I see myself being elsewhere.
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Somehow, I feel I might cry if I let the emotions get through. So maybe I'm going to block this for a little while more. I feel in shock, because I feel like immediately scolding you "why didn't you say?" It must've been so hard, and I want to give you a proper hug. We should've been shoulders and support for you, and I can hardly begin to imagine just how hard it is.
I know, I understand what you're trying to say.. But I don't think I can talk about this properly now. It's just wrong somehow. I don't think I want to think of a loss this close.
Surreal. It really feels like things are in suspension, with everything that keeps piling on. Is this what it means for strength in darker hours? He alone knows the strings He ties together.
Can I even sigh?
=(
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Don't buy Vista Security
